Retrospective

I am convinced that somewhere, between the lips and the brain, lies a little button. That button serves to mute our mouths, pause and delete what we are about to spew forth, unedited, from our minds.

Some people have mastered that button, remaining mum on certain subjects or, at a minimum filtering what they really wanted to say with something more appropriate. They are careful not to offend and offer, instead, words of comfort.

Others are seemingly born without that button and say whatever thought pops into their mind – not thinking through the consequences of their words or the impact those words might have on someone else.

Driving down SR 109 Monday, I passed a sign reading, “Mouth Management 101” on the marquee of a local church and it got me thinking about talking and the damage words can do. What might seem like a joke or inconsequential to one person, may not be perceived that way by someone else.

Before I go any further with this, I do want to say that I am human. I have said things I shouldn’t have. I have probably unknowingly offended people with things I have said, but I don’t intentionally set out to hurt people with my words and I hope, in some small way, I can help people with my words. After all, there are a lot of words on this site and I think most of them represent good, positive concepts.

I want to say this, however: there are people we encounter on a frequent basis who both lack that button of decency in their head that prevents them from saying ridiculous things and that hurt people, businesses and organizations with the things they say. Whether this is intentional or not is unclear. Unfortunately, I am relatively certain that the person(s) that should take this message to heart probably either won’t read it or won’t realize I’m talking about them.

We live in a very small community. In a restaurant or other setting, it is not uncommon to overhear conversations. It is also common to hear people chit chat during a meeting or after one. It doesn’t take long, usually, to put two and two together to realize you know who or what is being talked about. This happens frequently. Too often we hear things in this way that we shouldn’t hear. We’re not eavesdropping…they’re saying it and we’re listening whether we want to or not. A lot of what we hear is best left unsaid in the first place.

I have to say this – I just have to: if you don’t know what you’re talking about and if you’re not personally involved in something – do the people, businesses and organizations who are involved a big favor – SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Zip it. Lock it. Throw away the key. You are only harming your own credibility by commenting on something you know absolutely nothing about.

When we contribute to sharing false information, we double the workload of those who are actively working to make our community a better place. Do we really want to burn those people out? Is it really fair of us to work counterproductively against them? Do you really want to be looked at as the person who spreads lies, gossip and negativity? If you don’t, don’t participate. I’m sure we can all find plenty going on within our own lives to talk about and our own work to comment on.

Perhaps spreading negativity is a means of covering one’s own inadequacy – and in case you aren’t aware, that’s pretty transparent to the listener too.